- Holding your babies - I got to hold Jasiu when he was 3 days old and assisted by 3 nurses and only for one hour
- Changing diapers - Jas is a week old and I have yet to change a diaper
- Feeding- his stomach has yet to get a drop of real food - should be able to get 3mls of breastmilk tomorrow
- Crying - I have only heard him cry once when he was born and then "heard" the silent cry which made me physically sick - I felt his pain and could not hear a peep.
- Having your baby gaze into your eyes - Jas opened his eyes yesterday for a few minutes and a few times today - it was wonderful
- Showing off your baby to friends and family - only closest relatives were allowed to see him, one at a time and after 3 minutes of scrubbing their hands up to thier elbows and some wearing face masks
- Sibbling rivalry/ adjustment - Every time I come home from the hospital Emily asks me if her baby brother is with me or when she can see him
- Supportive and hands on spouse - I don't think I could do this without my husband and someone to lean on, wipe my tears and join me on this journey on such a personal level.
I could go on and on, but I won't. It sucks but there are worse things that can happen. I promissed myself I will not dwell on the bad but rather be greatful for the good.
I'm greatful for many things for our situation like:
- We live only 6 miles away from one of the best hospitals in the region that have one of the highest success rates in the country for CHD's
- We have one of the best surgeons along with his surgical team that performs the most complex procedures and is one of the most compassionate people I know
- We have a unit PSHU (Pediatric Surgery Heart Unit) that specializes only in children's heart surgeries and has the best nursing staff who only care for cardiac surgery intensive care patients.
- Our son was born a very healthy weight at 8 pounds and was ready for surgery on day 4
- We have the support and help from family and friends to take care of our daughter our home and us as well.
- We have a beautiful older sister who can't wait to meet her brother
- We have eachother (My wonderful husband is so supportive I can't imagine going through this without him) Also - Happy Birthday to him today.
- A wonderful network of other heart moms who know exactly what we are going thorugh and are willing to share and support each other. I want to help other moms just like they helped me. It's a tough path to walk on.